I'm starting to wonder if I'm okay. I'm feeling so incredibly bummed right now. I just feel like crying. So begins yet another month of being a "mommy-wannabe". It's been one year and four month since I quit birth control and handed my fertility back to God. I know He has His own timetable. He opens and closes the womb. I know this. Why am I so impatient? I just want a little one so badly, it hurts. Why do I feel such an urgency? Why do I seem to be the only one who truly wants this? DH isn't really concerned. He believes things will happen when they happen. I wish I was so laid back. DH's parents are wonderful people, but they act almost scared when I say anything referring to babies. His father swears he had my husband "fixed" at birth. His mother acts like it's the end of the world for a cousin who is married and pregnant at 19 years old. It breaks my heart.
Is there something wrong with me? I feel so imbalanced. Maybe I just need some sleep.
I'm going to go try that.