Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Auld Lang Syne

"Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?"

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
And days gone by?

Tonight 2008 will draw to a close, and 2009 will begin. I hope this coming year is a blessed one for all of us. It will probably be a trying one, with hostility toward the Truth of God growing and the economy as it is. But I remember the message our pastor shared with us this past Sunday and it was titled, "God's people will be more than fine in 2009". He had heard that title somewhere else and borrowed it. And it brought great comfort to me and really reassured in my heart something I had known all along.

Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world." 1 John 4:4

"My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand." John 10:29

I, as God's child, am going to be just fine. No matter what my circumstance may be, no matter if I end up poor in the sight of men, or if I am hungry, or even if I become homeless, my God is so much bigger than this place. I can rest in a secure salvation, I will rejoice in a Savior who is Sovereign and who is always with me, I will resist the world with the strength GOD provides and the promises He gives and I will remember the command to reach out to others, to try and meet them where they are because that's where God met me.

Should old acquaintance be forgot? I don't know. I had to let go of a few people this year, mostly because of losing my job (or being released, being freed, as I like to put it). But I did have to say goodbye to someone who had been a big part of my life for a while now. We had become so different that I could not any longer enjoy being with them. She was maid-of-honor in my wedding, and I was the same in hers. She was my best friend. We had met in nursing school about 4 years ago, and had become very close. I was there for her throughout her divorce from her abusive alcoholic husband, mostly in the form of her "partner in sin" as I see it now...better known as her best drinking buddy. And I was there for her when she remarried 6 months ago.

But can two walk together lest they be agreed? In August of 2007 I gave my life back to Christ. I was making a mess of it and my marriage and was tired of living life my way. God began to change my heart and I soon grew a great distaste for sin. Things I used to love and take part in regularly now disgusted me. But my friend would not, even to this day, let go of some things. And I know I cannot change people. Only the Holy Spirit can convict someone in their hearts, so I prayed for them, for her and her then soon-to-be husband. I continue to do so. I just don't understand how someone can read God's Word and then totally reject it, all the while claiming to be some follower of Christ. The last straw came a couple of weeks ago. They were both here at our home and I was excited to show her how blessed we had been with it. Things had become strained between us, I think mostly because of lack of compromise; me by not compromising what God says about certain things and by not going along with everyone else:"oh, whatever makes you happy, there are worse things out there...etc" and her not willing to compromise her comfortable lifestyle of partying and drinking to excess. But I still had hope for us. We had a relatively nice evening. I tried to overlook that every other word out of their mouths were curse words, and even using the Lord's name as profanity. I tried to overlook and had to bite my tongue that it seemed all the husband could talk about was of a sexual nature and just of juvenile habits. I even managed to keep my cool, for the most part, when we were discussing things of a medical nature (she's a RN and acted almost as if I were nothing but wrong when I talked about home births and that I just don't care for doctors and machines; I trust the body God gave me and the ability and sheer nature of that which I am. I tried to explain that I completely understood sometimes a hospital could not be helped and that there was a good purpose for all that, but I don't want to sell myself short without even trying) and I was made out to be a fool because I have some "old fashioned" ideas on things. But the final straw came when we were discussing the Bible. I lost it. I'm not proud of that, it's just the truth and I wish I would have kept my cool. But something about someone blaspheming the Word of God, in my home? Nope, sorry, I want no part of that and I will not take it laying down. She dared to use the phrase "It's 2008!" in reference to some apparent expiration date on the Bible, they must have taken the "best when used by:" sticker off my copy! Here I was being picked apart by an obviously much wiser person because I believe a woman's duty is to her home first, not the rest of the world. Because I believe when the Bible says "at home" that means, AT HOME. Because I read that and understand it as I believe God meant it to be is a greater calling than to be making $20.00 an hour at any job out there and regardless of what others say, to go against what God has put on my heart is disobedience, and that is sin. Do you have to agree with me? No! Are there circumstances where it cannot be avoided? I think that there could be and I believe God understands that. But for me to claim to be a Christian woman and not to give God's way a chance, trusting Him like He asks me to? To me, I would be sinning.

So, I had to "break-up" with her, I guess you could say. I hope I haven't burned that bridge completely, because I want to still be there for her if she needs me. I will still remember her in my prayers and in my heart, but I just can't be in her life. I cannot be condoning her lifestyle of drinking and parties and basically a complete disregard for the way God has commanded us to live by being in that atmosphere, and she has proven to me she will not have her life any other way. And it breaks my heart to have to let her go. I am now judgmental because of it. I don't try to be, I really don't think I am and I don't condemn people in my heart because that is not my place. And I have no right to...I used to be a horrible person. But I believe God has given us a standard to live by. If that makes me narrow-minded, I guess that's just how people will have to see me.


1 comment:

  1. That's gotta be tough, I'll be praying for God's will there. Maybe, just maybe, He has it planned for you to be there for her later on when everything falls apart around her and you are still the only person that has loved her with His consistent love? Just a thought. :)