I do not miss the workforce. I do not miss getting up at 3 in the morning and having to leave the house by 4:30 to be at work by 5:15 just to slave away for ten hours, tied to a station like an old milk cow, while "the Man" sucked precious time from my life, just so I could line up at the end of the day like an animal off to the slaughter, not feeling much different than such. I didn't feel like I was living for anything but the time clock most of the time. There is, however, one aspect I miss. Alot. Regimen. Start work at 5:30, break at 7:30, work some more, break at 9:30, work some more, lunch at 11:45, work some more, break at 2:15, go home at 4:30. When I was a gym rat I would be home by 7 most evenings, fix dinner by 7:30, in bed by 9:30 (wow...what kind of wife would you call that? I call it "sad"). I was so tired, all the time. But I had my times set and I got things done. Even after working all day long, I got things done.
Now, for the confession. I haven't done such a great job lately. I have been a poor manager of my time and I'm afraid I've made my husband suffer for it. I haven't been a good steward of the time God has given me, after practically begging for it. Why? I don't have a schedule. I started out okay, when I was first laid-off. I got up early, and got to movin'. I partly blame the new bed. Oh my...if you have never slept on a pillow-top mattress...that is a slippery slope. I've become a sleep glutton! But seriously...sloth is not a virtue. And I've been spending way, way, way too much time on the computer. Namely on Myspace. That's another reason I've decided to take my profile off their network. I've been sucked in, like so many others. I joined mainly to keep in touch with family, and that led to browsing other profiles, and time disappears and before I realize it, hours are gone. Wasted. Dashed against the rocks.
So now I am so far behind in my online classes I'm ashamed of myself. My husband is disappointed in me. I am harder on myself than he is on me, so I am extremely emotional about it right now. I love my husband. If I were not a Christian, I would be very close to worshipping him, in my heart. That's just the truth about it. God has blessed me so much with giving me this man as a husband, I can't even express in words how much I love him. He's really awesome. He's a Mr. Steady, for whoever has read "Created to Be His Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl. Father knew I couldn't hold up with a Mr. Command and I'm already kooky enough so I really didn't need a Mr. Visionary. He knew I needed a Mr. Steady. So, I am implementing a schedule, starting Monday. Probably not the best time, seeing as Christmas is next week, but why put off tomorrow what can be done today? Well, not today, and not tomorrow (Sunday, our Sabbath) but the next day. I do feel some accomplishment that I have spent the majority of the day in my class.
I've got my tentative daily schedule written out. I say tentative because I don't know what each day holds, but with the encouragement of the Lord and a little of His Strength, I will accomplish what I can. Prayerfully, all of it. So here goes nothin'
6 AM ~ wake & shower...make coffee
7-7:30 ~ start laundry, if applicable, sweep room(s)...some sort of little tidying chore
start breakfast & prepare DH's lunch
8-9 ~ breakfast & devotion
9:30-12 ~ studying
12:00-1:00 ~ lunch! maybe check e-mails, blogland
2:00-3:00 ~ OFF THE COMPUTER! various housework, gorceries
3:00-4:30 ~ nose to the education grindstone...study!
4:30-6:30ish ~ cook & have dinner
clean-up & dishes
8:00-9:00 ~ study
10:30 ~ bedtime
I plan to make a couple copies of this, if necessary, and put the up in a couple of places. I gotta get back into a productive groove or...I don't even want to think of the consequences.