There have been a few things going on around here since the last time I posted in November...wow, has it truly been that long ago?? I guess it has, but is surely doesn't feel as if it should be! Thanksgiving was blessed, Christmas was joyful, and New Year's was...trying. I have alot of clutter in my home as well as my heart that needs to be cleaned out. That is one of my New Year goals (resolution is such a dirty word, lol), to straighten up my heart, my priorities, refocus on the goals that I hoped for at the beginning of last year and to truly remove things that had crept up to a place that only God should have dominion in. I have allowed myself to become such a silly woman in many ways, and it should not be. I have begun a list of books that other godly (or by all appearances they are) women have read and recommend as edifying literature. There is work to be done and I am tired of wasting my life following things that will not matter in the end.
I have so much to sort out, so much to pray about, and maybe to just let go of. There are things I don't understand, things I don't know what to do with, things I just want to throw my hand up and say "I give up" over. And yet, I feel a great desire to pursue them. I will most likely be sharing more about these things that weigh heavy on my heart through this blog, because this is my journal ( I never could keep up a proper schedule when I put it on paper either). So much I do not understand, and yet what I do understand is that God loves me. The Creator of the universe and all in it cares for me. And I have to believe that these things, these good things, that I long for incredibly have to be there because HE put them there. And if He did, why would He not allow me to realize these desires? So, I do believe I will get to experience at least some of these aspirations. I just do not know when. Patience...boy do I need it!
I have been focusing more on my class. It appears that when I take the time and apply myself that I do very well with it. Huh...imagine that ;) I have been incredibly lazy with it and that is a big regret. And part of me wonders if, because of my laziness with this, that hasn't put a hold on better things? Well, it's time for me to put on my big girl breeches and keep my promises. And, if things go as planned (which I am not really holding my breath about...apprehensive hope, if you will) I will finish this course. And if things go as planned, I will be working from home, which is the dream I had when this class began. And if things go as planned, I will be able to help pay down most of our debt (another big dream for me) and lighten this dark cloud that tries to rain on us from time to time. However, whatever happens, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Jehovah Jireh WILL provide our NEEDS, because He has always been faithful.
I am trying to pay more attention to my physical health. I have been gluttonous in my behavior over the past few months-more so than before-and I think it has finally started taking an obvious toll on my well-being. I haven't felt well for time now. I've been sluggish, my complexion hasn't been very good, and I have put on a few more pounds. Not good. Now, I do not believe anyone ought to put too much emphasis on any one thing, or we risk making it an idol. But this is something that needs to be fixed, especially if I intend on being active. Bad health is not an asset. And, should the Lord ever bless us with children, I want to be able to keep up with them! I keep reminding myself that healthy does not always equal thin, and thinness does not always equal health. My husband's doctor recommended some time ago that he try the SouthBeach diet to help get the weight and some cholesterol numbers a little lower and my hubby did very well with it, so we are taking another swing at it. I am praying I don't have a carb-deprivation induced meltdown this time...I didn't even make it 2 weeks last time we tried it!
One last paragraph :) We have a couple of little additions! Well, they aren't so little anymore. Back in August we took in a couple of black furballs, two kittens who were being used as tossing-toys by some mean children. I have lots of pictures to share...they will likely have their own post :) They're very sweet most of the time and I know you're going to love them! I guess I've rambled on for long enough now. I'll try not to stay away too long. Have a great weekend everyone!!
